Love of Finn
by sheli-isha
Summary: Just a bit of angst, sort of tribute to Cory Monteith. Threesome story, Finn, Kurt and Mercedes, don't like don't read. Rated for language, includes Major Character death. AU wherein everybody lives in Britain but not everyone has the accent.
1. Chapter 1

** A/N: R.I.P Cory Monteith x 3**

**This is pretty much just because I'm feeling angsty over Cory Monteith's passing away. This is probably gonna be really angsty and upsetting. This is an AU wherein everyone is OOC and lives in Britain. Also its an AU where Kurt and Finn's parents never got together and Finn liked Mercedes whilst Kurt had a crush on him.**

Mercedes POV:

A joke, I had thought, a really, really, fucked up, cruel prank. There is no way that this was reality, absolutely no way! Not my baby! Not my precious Finn! Why? Why isn't he here? Surely this is just one big misunderstanding! I mean people get it wrong all the time with pile ups, they could of misidentified him. Yeah, yeah Mercedes that's exactly what happened because what you have just heard is a pile of bullshit! I saw him just the other day, in his shared apartment with Kurt in Birmingham. I haven't moved in yet but I think I will when I'm awake. After all, this can't be real life. This is all just a nightmare, you'll wake up soon Mercedes, you have to. But why? Why do you have to wake up? Other than to see Finn again. There is something pressing that worries you that you really need to check on. What is it? Why can't you remember what it is? Work, you stupid thing! That's what you're there for! I stop slapping my head and remember. Kurt. How could I ever forget you? What is wrong with me? How could I forget you? You were with him 24/7 after you left home? I have to check on you, even if this is a dream -which I'm sure it is- I have to know you're okay.

* * *

Kurt POV:

A joke, this has to be an awfully conducted joke. The punchline is so plain and so, so simple yet so very sad and final. "Dead," What a punchline! Of course it can't be true, I saw him two days ago before he went on that trip to see his friends in Bristol. I look at the photograph of his bracelet and I know. Of course its him, that bracelet was custom made when we all got together, the three of us, finally after skirting around it for a very long time. It was his idea, said it would always feel like we were together all the time, that was of course before the tattoos.

_"Kurt, relax its just a tattoo," Finn said, I gave him a look "There are so many things wrong with that sentence, Just a tattoo? Just a tattoo?" Mercedes walked in giving us each a kiss on the cheek. "What's going on here?" She asked, an amused look on her face "I was telling Kurt about my tattoo idea," she nodded. "What? You knew about this?" I asked appalled "Yeah, I think its a good idea," she said with a smile. "Not you too!" I whined. "Kurt come on, we're adults now and we've established that we'll be together of the rest of our lives,"_

I look at the framed photo of us after our name changing and cry. Big, wails, the wails of a husband losing a husband or a wife losing a husband. I cry and cry until all I can feel are my tears, until I feel tired to the point of unconsciousness but I can still feel the tears. "You said for the rest of our lives!" I yell at the photo "Why'd yours have to be so short? Why did you have to go first? Why couldn't we all go as planned? In each others arms, old age and wrinkles. I would gladly have the wrinkles now for more years with you! Can anyone hear me? I said I would have wrinkles if it brought him back, I would do anything! Please no, please tell me he's still here! Please tell me its a lie, it must be a lie cause I don't want it to be true.

_Ring Ring. _The phone, who would be ringing? I don't want to talk to anyone except maybe... I look at the caller ID, how could I not consider you? I know I didn't like you in the beginning, you took my man away, but you brought him back, and with you, beautiful, powerful, vibrant you. I answer the phone "Kurt," your voice is so small I can hear your tears as they fall. "Mercedes," I begin to cry again "What do you need?" I ask in a much stronger voice. "You," before the u is out of your mouth I'm grabbing my things and jogging towards your apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: If you're unsure on the dreaming thing hopefully it will be clear in the next chapter**

Mercedes POV:

I open the door and there you are, the other love of my life. The one I grew to love, the one he taught me to love. So loving was he that it was like second nature, the chemistry did help. A bracelet, that's how they knew it was him, a bracelet. What about the tattoo? Was it so bad that they couldn't... No! I refuse to think about it cause its not really happening, I wish I'd just wake up.

"It hurts," is all I manage to get out. You have me in your arms and I wonder why I never appreciated this more before. You kiss me all over my face "I just want the pain to go away," you kiss my uncovered shoulders. The bed feels softer yet colder somehow. Your body is warm but not warm enough, something's wrong. There's not enough body heat, I wonder how we're going to sleep tonight. Light kisses along my neck, my back, my face, my hands, my ears, my breasts. Soft, gentle hands but only two, soft gentle tongue but only one, sweet kiss goodnight but only me.

Still haven't woken up yet, I'm surprised this has gone on for so long. I just want to wake up, let me wake up! Kurt gets it, he's the only one that does. The others don't, not with their suggestions and their leaflets and whatnot. He actually listens, he understands how I feel, being trapped in a dream world where the love of your life is...

He talks about you when we're at home, (your apartment, I figured I'd move in so he wouldn't be alone) and smiles, genuinely not like everybody else. Not a smile of sympathy or pity but a proper smile. It help. Karaoke reminds me of you, I tell Kurt we should all go to an open mic night when I wake up. I haven't sung in public since you... Lets not think about that, its not real, it didn't really happen.

I still sing in the shower, and to your picture sometimes. Though that makes Kurt upset, I won't sing for anyone but you two. We have been together since we were 14 years old, well two of us were, you were 13, you've always been the baby. The impulsive one, the childish, innocent, naive one. I love you for that. My producers understand that I can't sing about joy when its gone, not completely but almost. I open my mouth in the studio and no noise. Kurt maintains my joy, I get that from the Lord. Usually with things like this, people lose faith but I thank God for the years I've had with you and the years I will have once I'm awake.

* * *

Kurt POV:

_Lord, I know I don't speak to you very often and I've doubted your existence multiple times but can you please help me? Open her eyes, Lord, she still thinks she's asleep, the funeral is drawing closer and I'm afraid she'll be stuck how she is. I talk to her as I always did, the psychiatrist can't convince her so its down to you. Please just bring her back, its like living with a child. She forgets to do things like brush her teeth and do her hair because a part of her accepts that she's mourning. She talks as though he'll come back when she wakes up and though it hurts me to think of this, she needs to understand that he's dead and gone. I can't keep this up forever, Lord I'm tired. I realise that its a selfish thing to ask for regarding the state the world is in right now and everything but please help me._

30, that's the number of songs she hasn't sung to people, actual, living people, other than me. 30 is a time associated with mourning and sorrow. that's how I know that a part of her knows you're really gone. She sings to you, sometimes. I know I'm talking to you right now but I know that you're dead and gone and never coming back. Although it hurts with every fibre of my being to admit, I know its true. She can do things by herself now though, she cooks and cleans and sings whilst doing so, well she did, she hasn't lately.

Your funerals on Friday, to think, we're supposed to celebrate your 27 years on this earth in one day. After that day people don't forget you but they gradually store your memory away, not us, not the ones closest to you. No. Our thoughts stay with you, always. I did live with you, to think that such a short while ago you were still here. I smile to remember you, I love Mercedes to remember my love for you, I pray for your mother like you used to, I'll visit the places that you'd wished to. That's my love for you Finn.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: wrote these three chapters in one night:) A****nyways, on with the story**

**Some things will be explained in this chapter**

"Hey Mercedes, its Finn," he smiles and plays with his hands. Mercedes smiles at him sweetly, "Nice to meet you Finn, you're not here to ask me if the rumours are true are you?" she asks, eyebrow raised. "What rumours?" Finn asks, she smiles at him and pats her nose "Don't need to know, so why you over here talking to me? Don't you have cocky pricks to talk to?" Mercedes says with an edge. "I do, but I'd rather be here with you," Mercedes smiles and looks down at the table. "Do you want some tater tots?" she asks and Finn's face lights up.

"Why were you talking to that fat chick?"

"She's not fat, just voluptuous,"

"You actually like this chick!"

"I don't!"

"Bullshit!"

"Puck!"

* * *

"Whose that girl over there?"

"The fat one?"

"She's not fat she's big-boned and voluptuous,"

"Whatever, her names Mercedes why?"

"She's getting really close to Finn,"

"Worried someone's going to steal your man like I stole the stage last night?"

"Rachel?"

"Yes Kurt,"

"Shut up!"

Kurt makes his way over to the two, beginning a conversation before he's fully seated. "And she said that it didn't make sense for me to cover my eyes because its not like I'm going to perv on her and I was like: Its the principle!" Mercedes gives Finn a look, he sighs and gestures to Kurt. "This is my homosexual best friend Kurt, we've know each other since primary school," he mumbles. Mercedes smiles "Hey Kurt, nice to meet you, what do you think of RnB my favourite RnB singer is Beyonce. You do like Beyonce don't you? If not, I'm not sure how this is gonna work out," Kurt raises his eyebrows "Do I like Beyonce? Is Elton John a homosexual? Of course I like Beyonce! The diva can sang!" he says and snaps his finger. "I think we'll get on just fine," Mercedes says and they make their way to the field behind the school.

Turns out, Kurt lives around the corner from Mercedes. "You fancy Finn!" Mercedes exclaims when they're nearly home, "Guilty," Kurt says in high voice putting his hand up. "But so do you," he says with a smirk, "You're right," Mercedes sighs. "He's just so..." Mercedes starts, "Gorgeous, sexy, lovely, flawless?" Kurt suggests."I was gonna say, nice," Mercedes says. Kurt loops his hand through hers and they walk slower so they can talk more. "Sleepover?" Kurt suggests, "Whose place?" Mercedes asks "Mine?" Mercedes nods "Okay,"

* * *

Rachel: So you're telling me...

Mercedes: That I fancy...

Puck: Both of them?

Kurt: Well, yeah

Mercedes: Yeah, I know sad right

Rachel: But, I thought you liked boys

Quinn: Its not sad, it actually kinda cute

Puck: Fuck me! So you're into guys as well

Finn: Noo, not guys just Kurt

Kurt: Not girls, just Mercedes

Quinn: Good luck with that

Rachel: Break a leg, not literally of course

Puck: Shit man, be careful


	4. Funeral

**A/N: Here be angst, again and a bit of smut, sorry...**

Kurt POV:

Shockingly, after all her denial of his death, she's the one who pulls me away. She's the only one who makes me feel, brings me back to myself. She's my rock, she's my strength. I'm the broken one! The train wreck! The one who's lost their grip on reality! I'm the one who hugs the coffin! The role reversal is a massive shock for everyone involved. Holds on and cries out in agony as though that can bring him back! And I know it can't, and I know I'm causing a scene but Mercedes is quick to assure me that he would've wanted me to be myself, overly dramatic and all.

My Mercedes, my beautiful ray of sunshine that I believed was extinguished for a while. My woman, the love of my life (one of them). The only woman I have ever loved other than my mother. My sweet, curvaceous, love and I know that I sound like a lovesick idiot but that's what she is to me, he was to me.. Even when she was broken she was strong, in her own way. The talk, oh the talk that came about regarding our relationship after my over-exaggeration at the funeral. That was not the act of a friend losing a friend, it was the act of a man who lost the love of his life (one of the loves of his life but they didn't know that at the time). My Mercedes was there, just like she always is, she was fine at this point, she was past her denial but at the point where she felt numb.

For her it registered the moment we saw the hearse, she ran into our apartment and began to wail, too late, but somehow at the right time. You wish you could tell what time these things would happen, at what point it would kick in. You wish it would've happened at a convenient time, but then you realise that your're being selfish. It was up to me to organise the day and make sure that everything was on track, Carol was too distraught to do anything. I grabbed Rachel from where she was talking to Puck, the two seemed to be getting quite close. I pulled her aside and told her that I would be a little late.

I worried as I went into the house, she hadn't made it to the room, she was just lying on the floor. I can't imagine the shock, I can't imagine what it must be like realising that you caused your mind to play tricks on you, and it was all on you. I sit next to her and rub her back. "How?" she says, her voice hoarse, she clears her throat and tries again. "How? How could I do that Kurt?" she asks, tears running down her face, her eyes sorrowful. I sigh and inch the bridge of my nose. "It's how you chose to cope, God knows how I coped," I say, giving her a wry smile. She gives me one back and looks me in the eyes. "It will always be just the two of us, always, just one hand to hold, one person to keep me safe," I look away and she puts a hand under my chin "Not that you're not enough, you are," she wipes away a tear I didn't even notice had fallen. "You will be enough, I love you Kurt," she says, a pained smile on her face. "I love you too," I tell her, and I'm not sure who cried the most.

Two hands, just two, always only two from now on. Warm and brown and comforting. Hands over my chest, kisses over my eyes, my eyebrows, my neck. Kissing away the tears, kissing away the pain, though of course that's not possible, not really. I kiss her back, her neck, her breasts, her brows. I leave lingering kisses on her hip and a hickey on her complains but lets me pull her hair, I caress her breasts as we find a rhythm. I stroke the canvas before me, hands barley touching her skin, not enough hands. I bring her top half up so we can kiss awkwardly and so that I don't feel alone. A constant heat and weight.

Weird, to think I was scared she would steal Finn, how could I ever have thought bad of her? I'm not just saying that because I'm inside of her, it's strange to think that when we were younger I would've been squeamish about this. The whole being with a girl thing. When we were younger I developed a crush on Finn, a serious crush, I was feeling butterflies in my stomach whenever I saw him. Then came Mercedes, with her weaves and her hips, and those moves. I was sure that I would never get Finn, didn't know he liked me, had done for a while. He denied it at first, of course he did, he was straight. He liked Mercedes, I was gay, I liked Finn. It was a first for me, feeling for a girl. No other girl can stir me up like Mercedes, no other girl makes me feel like taking them. I just wasn't that into girls, it was only ever Mercedes. For Finn, I like to think that it was only ever me, an exception to to the straight rule.

When we're done, I'm forced to wear a straight face and talk about my lover as though he was a friend and she is forced to do the same. Its just, the sex, its incredible and it makes everything feel distant and its so, so different. A difference that I want to explore, being able to love only one person at one time. The service ends and I look over at Mercedes, she nods. That moment, I realise that its not what it started as, its not just comfort. Its not just to please Finn, its to show the love we have for each other.

Not being true to my girlfriend got to me. Looking into her eyes and encouraging her was tough. I'm surprised I hadn't broken earlier, I don't know how I managed it, God? I mean, I did ask him to help me, it was a lot easier than it could've been. It was like being a mother to a child that wasn't developing well. It sounds terrible, like Mercedes is an invalid, but she isn't, she was just hurt, broken, like me. She just handled it differently. I was advised against telling her the harsh reality and I'm glad I didn't have to. So, then why am I the one being hauled out of the room by my father and Mercedes?

A push in the right direction, a look in the eyes that should be familiar but somehow isn't. Kisses to the nose and eyes and cheeks and mouth. There are a pair of lips missing, being taken off to a restroom in a store, two hands not four, whispered voice, one voice not two, face looking up at me, no-one behind me. One mouth, one pair of hands, one side, just us. It still hurts. Its hard like this, I thought I would be the strong one.


End file.
